Messiest foods to eat while driving
Posted by Vince Mullins on January 8, 2008
So I am doing my online comedy traffic school, and I must admit that some of the jokes aren’t bad. But while waiting for the mandatory twenty minute clock to elapse, I had to comment on the following list (courtesy of Funny In Florida, LLC):
THE TEN MOST DANGEROUS FOODS /
BEVERAGES TO EAT OR DRINK WHILE DRIVING (221)
(other than alcohol)1. HOT COFFEE – coffee spills are particularly dangerous because of the potential 2 nd degree burn.
2. HOT SOUP – imagine trying to steer while holding a spoon, the cup and the wheel at the same time!
3. TACOS – cannot be eaten without tilting the head and it will usually break apart in driver’s hand, then fall in driver’s lap.
4. CHILI – The sloppiest food ever devised.
5. BURGERS – Juicy with toppings dripping out of bun, onto your shirt.
6. BARBECUE – sticky fingers and driving don’t mix
7. FRIED CHICKEN – greasy, crumbly, finger-lickin’ BAD!
8. JELLY DONUTS – big glop of jelly on your leg – just what you need before that big meeting.
9. SOFT DRINKS – try spilling a large cola on your lap while you’re merging onto the expressway.
10. CHOCOLATE – tastes great but it’s a stubborn stain.
The problem is not necessarily the “eating” of the food. It’s the reacting after the food (or beverage) falls in the driver’s lap. Most food-related crashes happen in the morning because drivers are more concerned with their appearance at the start of the day. The odds of having a food-related crash increase if the vehicle has a manual transmission, because the driver is also occupied with the stick shift.(222)
I thought of much more messy foods than this:
Lobster – between the shell cracking and the drawn butter, just asking for trouble.
Watermelon – seed swallowing risks take on a whole new meaning. At least you can throw the rinds at dumbass drivers.
Chocolate Fondue – Imagine the burn marks if it drops in our lap – hell, what if you corner too aggressively and the Sterno ignites the seat? It would be like your own mobile Morgantown mayhem!
What would be your messiest food while driving?
