2008 College Football Free-range Turkey Awards
Posted by Vince Mullins on November 26, 2008
While a turkey could mean three strikes in a row to a bowler or a beautiful feast to the pilgrims, turkey also means a big disappointment. What icons of the college football world have disappointed, and thereby deserve the title of “turkeys”?
This is hardly a groundbreaking and innovative journalistic theme, but sounds funny enough for me to recycle and spin with an environmentally conscious angle. I consider myself a positive person, but I realize there is more humor in being negative.
Ian Johnson – 2006 season for the ages (25 TD, 1714 yards rushing)? CHECK! Legendary bowl game victory in which he scored the final TD? CHECK! Gorgeous cheerleader wife? CHECK! Any follow through on that great promise since then – without question NO.
2008 disappointed from the get-go, minor injuries always nicking him but not enough to ever give up hope of a return to form - which no doubt drug your fantasy season to the Bob Uecker seats to watch your league playoffs.
Ian, you will always be a huge part of my favorite college football fan memory of all time. I wish you nothing but the best whatever path your life takes you. I sincerely hope there is no dark secret in Boise that has led to your last two subpar years – I am chalking them up to the injuries.
The Notre Dame Complex – Chicago papers’ ink runs blood red as sharks circle South Bend awaiting the demise of Coach Weis and his “systemic advantage” that diappeared when Brady Quinn graduated. Jimmy Clausen rolls into town in a Hummer, dominates nothing but the local beer pong events and scores a total of seven points versus the two ranked teams that the Irish faced. And our top ranked USC defense on deck – is it possible to score negative points?
Chuck Long – the college football version of Norv Turner? Too early in his head coaching career to really tell, but he is too good an offensive mind to stay out of work for long. His results at SDSU hardly will get him consideration for a job like Clemson or Tennessee,
South Florida Bulls – Mike Ford – like a Ferrari is capable of great performance but in the shop way too much. Matt Grothe - how can you not root for his guttiness that bears the weight of the offense every single week? Great things were expected in 2008, but truly inexcusable losses tarnished another great potential season.
Todd Boeckman – could he be the next Matt Cassell, relegated to the Buckeye bench to make room for the athletic up and comer Terrelle Pryor only to get some love from the NFL on Draft Day? Phil Steele had him as a top ten QB in all the nation this preseason – quite the fall from grace.
Knowshon Moreno – and probably Georgia Bulldogs in general….such promise as preseason #1 rarely gets fulfilled and it started early with the injury to soph OT Sturdivant. And let us not talk about the defense. If Moreno and Stafford come back to Athens, look for a Three Amigos type campaign in 2009 in concert with AJ Green.
Auburn offense – how dare you tempt us of the fantasy ilk with that great bowl game performance only to dismiss coordinator/spread guru Tony Franklin halfway through the season? and the firing had no effect on the level of suck of said offense. Auburn has only achieved a 400 yards of total offense in a game twice this season – there are 30 teams averaging more than that in the country.
Eugene Jarvis – little man gets a small pass due to injuries, but I must blame Kent State Coach Doug Martin for his “radio silence” when it comes to player updates. I expected much more from the nation’s returning rushing leader.
The State of Washington – Washington State and Washington. The Rotten Apple Cup. Never before have we seen such a wretched hive of chum and mediocrity. Enough said.
North Texas – two years straight we have predicted the upxcoming offensive onslaught and the Sun Belt dominance of the Mean Green. Todd Dodge has consistently kept his defense ranked in the bottom 5 nationally on the BlitzIndex and the offense exists outside the top 100 for points per game scored.
Arian Foster – NFL talent and the ability to communicate with the animals didn’t help his fumblitis. Sounds like the Arian Race will run again in 2009 in Ol Rocky Top
Rusty Smith – while their amazing fortuitiveness of 2007 (+20 TURNOVERS) allowed them great success it also suggested a mean reversion of luck. Even the doomsdayers didn’t see the underperformance of Florida Atlantic this season (5 WINS AND -9 TURNOVERS) and Rusty looking so, well, rusty as his TD dropped from 32 to 17. I bet he has a huge 2009 as outcomes revert back.
