Posted by Vince Mullins on May 9, 2008
So I finally got on the Twitter bandwagon, I see why it has become so popular - that 140 character limit forces you think with brevity whereas most web writing is similar to listening to John McCain ramble incessantly.
It took me a little time to properly crop a picture of the Blue Turf for the background, but I call it a success.
Then I stumbled upon the Son of God…
some excerpts…
@juliaroy I have already forgiven you. Remember, there’s a difference between kneeling down and bending over.
Hello my children, I am going to go poop. I may or may not finish myself off on the toilet and flush potential Christ Jrs down the toilet.
@dobata no problem! I’ve got your back. And your front.
I am not known for being politically correct so I heartily laughed at the second clip. Who is joining me in hell for laughing at this cat?
Posted in Off Topic | Tagged: Jesus, savior | No Comments »
Posted by Vince Mullins on January 8, 2008
So I am doing my online comedy traffic school, and I must admit that some of the jokes aren’t bad. But while waiting for the mandatory twenty minute clock to elapse, I had to comment on the following list (courtesy of Funny In Florida, LLC):
THE TEN MOST DANGEROUS FOODS /
BEVERAGES TO EAT OR DRINK WHILE DRIVING (221)
(other than alcohol)
1. HOT COFFEE - coffee spills are particularly dangerous because of the potential 2 nd degree burn.
2. HOT SOUP - imagine trying to steer while holding a spoon, the cup and the wheel at the same time!
3. TACOS - cannot be eaten without tilting the head and it will usually break apart in driver’s hand, then fall in driver’s lap.
4. CHILI - The sloppiest food ever devised.
5. BURGERS - Juicy with toppings dripping out of bun, onto your shirt.
6. BARBECUE - sticky fingers and driving don’t mix
7. FRIED CHICKEN - greasy, crumbly, finger-lickin’ BAD!
8. JELLY DONUTS - big glop of jelly on your leg – just what you need before that big meeting.
9. SOFT DRINKS - try spilling a large cola on your lap while you’re merging onto the expressway.
10. CHOCOLATE - tastes great but it’s a stubborn stain.
The problem is not necessarily the “eating” of the food. It’s the reacting after the food (or beverage) falls in the driver’s lap. Most food-related crashes happen in the morning because drivers are more concerned with their appearance at the start of the day. The odds of having a food-related crash increase if the vehicle has a manual transmission, because the driver is also occupied with the stick shift.(222)
I thought of much more messy foods than this:
Lobster - between the shell cracking and the drawn butter, just asking for trouble.
Watermelon - seed swallowing risks take on a whole new meaning. At least you can throw the rinds at dumbass drivers.
Chocolate Fondue - Imagine the burn marks if it drops in our lap - hell, what if you corner too aggressively and the Sterno ignites the seat? It would be like your own mobile Morgantown mayhem!
What would be your messiest food while driving?
Posted in Off Topic | Tagged: Burning Down the Couch, West Viriginia Mountaineers | No Comments »
