Archive for the ‘Off Topic’ Category

Erin Andrews, courtesy ESPN and Chicago Tribune

Erin Andrews, courtesy ESPN and Chicago Tribune

So I am flipping thru Newsday.com, innocently looking for information on a friend’s Little League All-Star team.

Lo and behold I stumble across this link…

http://www.newsday.com/sports/sfl-erinandrews-pg,0,118514.photogallery

Erin looks particularly stunning under the lights at last years Miami vs. Texas A&M game, but a couple of studio shots really highlight her work.

And by work I mean gorgeous hair and eyes. Yeah, Hair and eyes.

BONUS MATERIAL: Melissa Stark and Lisa Guerrero stills from the archives…

You know, I need to go check the kid’s box scores….

So I finally got on the Twitter bandwagon, I see why it has become so popular – that 140 character limit forces you think with brevity whereas most web writing is similar to listening to John McCain ramble incessantly.

It took me a little time to properly crop a picture of the Blue Turf for the background, but I call it a success.

Then I stumbled upon the Son of God

some excerpts…

@juliaroy I have already forgiven you. Remember, there’s a difference between kneeling down and bending over.

Hello my children, I am going to go poop. I may or may not finish myself off on the toilet and flush potential Christ Jrs down the toilet.

@dobata no problem! I’ve got your back. And your front.

I am not known for being politically correct so I heartily laughed at the second clip. Who is joining me in hell for laughing at this cat?

So I am doing my online comedy traffic school, and I must admit that some of the jokes aren’t bad. But while waiting for the mandatory twenty minute clock to elapse, I had to comment on the following list (courtesy of Funny In Florida, LLC):

THE TEN MOST DANGEROUS FOODS /
BEVERAGES TO EAT OR DRINK WHILE DRIVING (221)
(other than alcohol)

1. HOT COFFEE – coffee spills are particularly dangerous because of the potential 2 nd degree burn.

2. HOT SOUP – imagine trying to steer while holding a spoon, the cup and the wheel at the same time!

3. TACOS – cannot be eaten without tilting the head and it will usually break apart in driver’s hand, then fall in driver’s lap.

4. CHILI – The sloppiest food ever devised.

5. BURGERS – Juicy with toppings dripping out of bun, onto your shirt.

6. BARBECUE – sticky fingers and driving don’t mix

7. FRIED CHICKEN – greasy, crumbly, finger-lickin’ BAD!

8. JELLY DONUTS – big glop of jelly on your leg – just what you need before that big meeting.

9. SOFT DRINKS – try spilling a large cola on your lap while you’re merging onto the expressway.

10. CHOCOLATE – tastes great but it’s a stubborn stain.

The problem is not necessarily the “eating” of the food. It’s the reacting after the food (or beverage) falls in the driver’s lap. Most food-related crashes happen in the morning because drivers are more concerned with their appearance at the start of the day. The odds of having a food-related crash increase if the vehicle has a manual transmission, because the driver is also occupied with the stick shift.(222)

I thought of much more messy foods than this:

Lobster – between the shell cracking and the drawn butter, just asking for trouble.

Watermelon – seed swallowing risks take on a whole new meaning. At least you can throw the rinds at dumbass drivers.

Chocolate Fondue – Imagine the burn marks if it drops in our lap – hell, what if you corner too aggressively and the Sterno ignites the seat? It would be like your own mobile Morgantown mayhem!

What would be your messiest food while driving?